Chapter 28- Interpersonal Relationships

Why should we prefer people who (we believe) are like us?

I personally don’t think we ‘should’ prefer others who are similar to ourselves, I think it’s simply a matter of what we actually do, rather than what is expected. What I mean is that, we wouldn’t prefer people who are like ourselves, because we should, people don’t work that way. We form friendships and relationships for our own selfish reasons. What is expected doesn’t matter. Basically, the question should have been ‘Why do we prefer people who are like us?’

It doesn’t matter which word was used in the question, the answer will be the same anyway.  This question is simple, but one of interest to me. We enjoy the companionship of those who are like-minded to ourselves because of security, familiarity and approval.

We desire other people that share similar preferences and thoughts to ensure that we can feel secure, with security comes familiarity. If we are familiar to their way of thinking we feel less alone when around them, which again, makes us feel secure. In my opinion if we were to spend time with friends that are not on ‘the same level’, (meaning, they don’t understand us,  they think differently or they have little in common with us) then we would feel a certain amount of solitude, even in the presence of people that we deem to be nice, decent or even good friends. The friends that I value the most will always be the ones that can relate to me. People like to feel understood, I think we fear not being understood.

If we know people who are similar to us, then we can already feel secure that we’re approved of. People crave approval and attention; if you’ve got approval then you’ll get attention because people will enjoy to converse with you. However we like to get a reaction out of people; the whole point of getting a reaction is because we are curious. If they were too similar, there would be no excitement or discoveries, thus making the friendship dull and pointless. Therefore, I believe we just want someone who we can relate to, rather than someone who is like a copy of ourselves.

(Connection to people, why is this important?… my answer is uncomplete, I’ll come back to this when I’m more alert, I like to give these questions my full attention to ensure that, I answer it completely and consider every aspect and possible view)

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3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Eileen
    Nov 26, 2012 @ 03:03:16

    What book is this chapter from?

    Reply

  2. kayl18
    Nov 26, 2012 @ 23:39:09

    Reply

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